As you walk around the place, you might wonder what draws hundreds of thousands of people to the Minnesota State Fair. It might seem strange to the outside observer, but this fascinating ritual has been going on for decades and its traditions are passed on from generation to generation.
Although belonging to a culture where firearms can easily be bought at a supermarket, these visitors are perfectly peaceful. And although beautiful animals are one of the main attractions (along with some other less beautiful, but apparently delicious animals), most of the fair goers come to try exotic food.
These truly unusual culinary traditions mostly use the “deep fried” secret recipe and are served on a stick. Varieties include deep-fried candy bars, deep-fried pies and deep-fried pickles. According to insiders who refused to be named, only unwritten religious rules and basic chemistry have prevented stands from offering deep-fried water.
In addition to eating peculiar foods, Minnesotans also use butter to produce sacred art. In the dairy section of the fair and in the middle of puzzled observers, two women stood inside a rotating freezer as one tried to carve the other’s head out of a big block of butter. The best “sculpture” is then designated to be the “Butter Queen.”
Some believe the sculptures to be inspired by superstition and regard the “Butter Queen” as a symbol of youthfulness and beauty. Whatever it is, no butter is ever wasted by these peaceful people and the sculptures are often donated to the poor. Charity is an important tenet of their religion.
The fair is also a political occasion as the current regime leader tries to maintain power. Supporters gathered around Great Chief Donald Trump’s lodge and gave in to rituals known only to them. Anthropologists have been trying to decipher those practices over the past three years, but no progress has been made yet.
But watch out! A leader from the opposing tribe is preparing to challenge the incumbent Great Chief. Out there and right between the deep-fried candy bars lodge and the deep-fried cupcakes on a stick lodge, hundreds of Bernie Sanders believers gathered. They stood as he spoke and they took part in a solemn rite known as “feel the burn”. It was not immediately clear whether they were deep-fried burns or not.